Heartbroken

Fitri msn-ed me suddenly, saying that she was heartbroken. I was already heartbroken when she said that it was over between us today, and when i heard that, i somehow felt her pain to. My heart seemed to just fall apart. The only thing holding it together was the hope that it would be because of me. And there i was waiting for the chance to say smth like 'don't worry, i love you and i'm yours'. It took only a few seconds before the heart totally dropped. She said that a guy she liked asked her bestfriend for stead. Days ago, when there was a moment of silence between us, i asked her if there was another guy. Her answer was a straight forward and bold no. Now that this comes up, I just cant help but recall how i've been used before. I still love her with all my heart. But im getting confused, afraid that i'll get played again. Questions kept poping out of my mind like, 'Will i get played again?', 'Will i ever or do i even stand a chance with her?' and 'Am i even worthy of her even if she gives me the chance?'. I have so much fears. I want her so badly, and no one has made me this happy in a long time. But yet i'm afraid, afraid that i will never get the chance to show her how much she means to me and that i might not be able to keep her happy. I tried to give her advice on her issue. It was 3 times more heartbreaking advicing her, trying to give her good advice as a friend and not take that moment and use it as an advantage. I only want the best for her and want her to be happy !!!:(

Now that i've poured my heart out, time for the daily reviews. Physics is good but FnN sure fail. Anyway, Mom's gym is opening soon!! Cant wait for it to open. And i'm Contours Express' official DJ... Any songs you guys hear from there will be done by me! I'm in charge of uploading the latest pop, RnB and Hip-Hop songs for their excercise haha! Then had dinner with Ashton and his family and Lagoon. Had Gong-Gong, Carrot Cake, some crazily expensive $10 rojak and Wanton Mee which sucked like hell... The soup tasted like hot water lol... Sigh... I juz wish you could see my heart. That my love for you is pure and true. Sianz... Tmrw have to work and give out flyers. Double-edged sword! Have to wake up early! But i have made a resolve to save up atleast $10 everytime i work for Fitri. I have to take her out and pay for her once in a while too ok?!

Anyways... Good luck to all sec 4's sitting for their O's and wishing all those who take their exam good results haha... take care!